1. The sun rises in the east
2. Teen super-stars crash in their mid 20's
3. If its not on my google calendar, its probably not happening
4. Little Asian women can't drive (im not racist.. love the Asians.. just a fact).
Beyond this list I have many others in the on-deck circle, but not fully proven yet. That was until today at 2:37pm.
For years I insisted old and fat is just lack of motivation. Eat your veggies, go to the gym, take the stairs... basics. See, I enjoy working out and this fat thing was never going to happen to me.
"5. My pants from HS would fit me forever"
It started two years ago after I got married. Walking into work, Eve greeted me at the front desk and wanted to see my ring. It was my grandfathers ring, and I insisted it remained unchanged, which Eve noticed and said - "...its a little big on you, but when you get older and fatter it will fit, so don't change it". WTF? Fatter? Does she know nothing of my life plan? She cursed me.
A few weeks later I had to get my suit altered because my feet turned blue when I buttoned it up. There is no covering up with tailors.. see.. it is their job to make you fit into your clothes when you get fat, so he came out and set it straight when I stood up on the box. "heey... you are getting fat". That night I signed up for pillates with my wife.
So here we are two years later and I'm still fighting the good fight. Eating well, working out, and getting fatter. I systematically started moving my pants that no longer fit into my car with the understanding that one day I would either drive to the tailor to get them re-fit, or bring them back upstairs when thinner days prevail.
THEN I FOUND THIS.
Enter Reality- SLAP.
If Tyson can't beat it, how the hell can anyone?
Reality list addition:
5. Older = Fatter.
*UPDATE 12/19/08
Voodootikigod was nice enough to add this little pic. Thanks.
